You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
