my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
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