Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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