he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
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