if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
