saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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