Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
How soon is too soon to enter the slutty phase of this breakup?
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
