Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
My dry spell starts kindergarten this fall...
They grow up so fast.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
