girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
You made me take a photo of you under the stairs at the bar. "Look I'm Harry Potter."
After getting kicked out of the bar, you proceeded to McDonald's, ordered 30 nuggets, slammed them all back in 5 minutes and then stole 3 traffic cones...how you only got charged with drunk in public is beyond me.
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Randomize
