Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
A+ Viking dick
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
Randomize
