Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
