new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
She called to tell me she just hooked up with my crush...and that he talked about me...not sure if I should be pissed or excited?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
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