words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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