I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
