Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
I probably won't go. Last time I got drunk with those guys I just started demanding people let me touch their beards.Then I mocked everyone who didn't have facial hair.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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