So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
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