And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
Drunk, high, and in a taco costume. Wish you were here.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
