Wow that girl who lives a couple houses down is going out wearing butterfly wings a skirt and fishnets
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
