I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
Randomize
