Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Oh btw, my mom called... you made the police blotter in the newspaper. Don't worry, she's mailng me a copy so I can put in on the fridge.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
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