is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Yeah, clearly. And then we can float around my room on Christmas themed inner tubes. And drink, I guess.
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
