update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
