Well I left you a voicemail but you probably won't be able to hear it because my mic is fucked up. I think you need to come down here and take it in for me.
I hate this phone so bad I'm going to lose all of my friends because of it
Yeah...you probably will...
well, you're marked off my christmas card list for next year.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
I just masturbated at work... Don't know why but I thought you should know
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
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