Your face is a jimmy john
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I know you just got bad medical news... But want some moonshine?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize