my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
i want to swaddle you in tequila
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
I'm going to tattoo a maze on my back for the next fucker that tries to blow early ....
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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