You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
