there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Found your dick twin last night
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
I'm so happy we share a mutual love of laughing at religion.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
