I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Randomize
