it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
My 8 year old wants to name our new cat "fur burger". how do i explain that this is not really appropriate?
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
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