my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
