I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
His sombrero wouldn't fit in the car and I had to buy him some Jack to make him stop bitching. You owe me
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
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