Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
