i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
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