Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
It's like the perfect sandwich, once you find it you want to ensure your future access to it.
Randomize
