I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
