IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
Randomize
