All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
