I am puke
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I don't care if there's a party or not. I just want to be half naked in a cape with a never-ending supply of alcohol within arm's length at all times. Make it happen.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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