it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
17 year olds will be the death of me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Randomize
