remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I'm gunna wear a purple dress, so if you see someone looking confused and lost wearing purple it's probably me
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
