I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
