Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
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