wat bout pragnant strippers??
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
She looks like a beluga.
I want to splash her with water and when she screams say "I didn't want you to die. You looked parched"
wow, being home for Xmas is freaking weird on tinder. I went to high school with everyone I'm matching... The fact that this many jocks like me now is a huge ego boost from my lack of glory days.
...and I'm done. I just matched two boys I used to babysit without realizing it.
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
