hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Can't a white girl just get drunk on a Sunday night and eat rice crispy treats. SHIT
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
