Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
Hold on gotta plunge the sink
Is that a euphemism for sex? Either way, have a good time
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