Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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