dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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