Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
you kept calling numbers in ur phone book and saying, "I love your show, I'm a long time listener, first time caller."
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I yelled at the cab driver to slow down because my unborn children live here, and pointed to my uterus. I think my message was lost in translation though because he immediately offered me his card...
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
