White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
