if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
