I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Randomize
