My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
The port-o-potty that I peed in last night didn't actually have a toilet in it. And i never told anyone until this moment.
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
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