No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
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