Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Being single/not living at home sucks. All I want is someone I can force to pick up my pizza for me so I don't have to talk to anyone.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
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