I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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