I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
Nothing brings compassion from a group of cafe workers like walking in and asking if they have a 'hangover special'
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
