I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just had the fat girl at the party come tell me I look sad and offer me a beer. I'm out.
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Considering showing up at your house with coronas. I'll be wearing a sombrero and that's it.
Party city is having a sale on maracas
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize