No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I think a girl in front of me glued an ugg tag to a weird pair of boots.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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