Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
Randomize
