guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
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