I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
