Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
Randomize
