bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
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