He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
Your 13 year old niece and her best friend half carried you from the beach to the pool where you then clung onto a raft and screamed about having pretty hair.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
