Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Randomize
